Snow Falling

After dinner, we lounge in the reading chairs by the window. As I’m sitting with my feet curled underneath me, Han-Neul unzips his guitar case and starts strumming a gentle melody. I watch as his fingers slowly dance between the strings, plucking notes methodically. I find myself gently swaying to the rhythm of his guitar, almost hypnotically. I allow my eyes to roam his body, taking in every little detail. The way his hair curls long enough that they sometimes have to be brushed back. Sometimes, he would give a slight frown as he concentrates but mostly his face is relaxed. In my mind, words are slowly forming, filling in the holes of the incomplete song. 

Like a flower blooming in the snow,
this is a fleeting moment shared with you.

    Every so often, he would glance up from his guitar and give me a small smile, our eyes locked for a few seconds. I burn into my mind, this very moment. This fleeting night will become a warm memory when I return to Australia. A quiet night shared with the person I admire most.

A faint night of a long ago winter;
like a flower blooming in the snow,
this moment will melt away in the spring.

     ‘Snow is falling.’ His voice comes out in a low whisper. Outside, the sky is slowly filling with delicate snowflakes. I watch, memorised. It’s my first snowfall. Today has been a day of many firsts. First overseas flight. First day in South Korea. First fan meeting. First time in a hotel. First room service. First snowy night. It is all thanks to Han-Neul. Without him, I would be still in Sydney, confused with my life. ‘I’m glad I’m seeing my first snowfall with you.’ Han-Neul pauses from his strumming and looks at me, returning my smile, ‘I’m glad that I didn’t let you go. I can imagine you getting lost somewhere in Seoul.’ He laughs as I huff with indignation. 

Do you remember that winter night?

Snow was falling by our window seat.
We sat with heads rested, feet curled,
as you strummed me a gentle song.

    I rest my head against my arms, ‘Sing me a song.’ He picks up his guitar again and plucks a delicate melody. I close my eyes and visualise snowflakes forming with each movement of his fingers. Millimetre by millimetre, snow is falling. Inside my heart, the snow is piling. Slowly, I let his voice lull me to sleep. My first night in South Korea ended with a goodnight serenade.  

Snow Flower

Do you remember that winter night?

Snow was falling by our window seat.
We sat with heads rested, feet curled,
as you strummed me a gentle song. 

You said, “I want tonight to last forever.”
And for morning to never arrive.
We knew this moment wouldn’t come again.
For we must return to our own lives. 

Like a flower blooming in the snow,
this was a fleeting moment shared with you.
A fragmented memory of a long ago winter.
Like a flower blooming in the snow,
this memory wilted away in the spring.
With only the faint scent of you remaining.

Do you remember that winter night?
We watched the fire crackle,
as we drank champagne by your window.
It was my first night, sleeping by a stranger. 

I said, “I won’t let you become a memory.”
Our fingers linked together, promised.
But handwritten letters and postcards,
faded away your smile. 

Like a flower blooming in the snow,
this was a fleeting moment shared with you.
A fragmented memory of a long ago winter.
Like a flower blooming in the snow,
this memory wilted away in the spring.
With only the faint scent of you remaining.

Love Song for a Distant Star

Today, I'll write a song meant only for you.
But has a melody you won't be able to hear.
Because to you, I have yet to exist.
To me, you are a distant star that I cannot grasp.
I can only hope that my voice reaches you.

Listen well; I'll only say this once.
This is a love song for a distant star,
who sings from a far away horizon.
Every day, I'm dreaming of you.
I'm always calling for your name.
Listen, please listen carefully.
Can't you hear my quivering words?
Distant star, don't stay ignorant forever.
Hurry up and realise that I love you.

Yesterday, I heard your guitar strumming quietly.
I fell in love with the sorrow singing inside your heart.
I want to be the arms that comfort you to sleep.
But you were so far away, a distant glowing star.
Falling, please fall into my welcoming arms.

And Listen well; I'll only say this once.
This is a love song for a distant star,
who sings from a far away horizon.
Every day, I'm dreaming of you.
I'm always calling for your name.
Listen, please listen carefully.
Can't you hear my quivering words?
Distant star, don't stay ignorant forever.
Hurry up and realise that I love you.

Tomorrow, we'll shine together on that stage.
Hands held tightly, you are my only muse.
I won't ever let you stand alone again.
Our voices will soar together through the night.
We'll cast a spell over the crowds.

So, listen well; I'll only say this once.
This is a love song for a distant star,
who sings from a far away horizon.
Every day, I'm dreaming of you.
I'm always calling for your name.
Listen, please listen carefully.
Can't you hear my quivering words?
Distant star, don't stay ignorant forever.
Hurry up and realise that I love you.
Distant star, don't stay ignorant forever.
Hurry, hurry up and finally realise.
That I love you.    

                                                                                               

 Note: I wrote this with the intention of it becoming a song however, I sadly lack musical knowledge so it will remain as only lyrics. If anyone knows song writing, could you please use these lyrics to write a song? (Lyrics inspired by previous post)

Distant Star

I’m lying with my stomach on my bed, my pen scrawling words onto paper. I’m writing you a love song with lyrics only you will understand. But has a melody you probably won’t be able to hear. Because to you, I don’t yet exist. My name is an unborn foetus waiting to be spoken from your lips. Hurry up and realise that I love you. Don’t be ignorant forever.

    You are like a distant star. Smiling and singing from that far away place. Only your voice travels through the radio, encouraging me to run towards you. You are my goal. The finish line with the fluttering chequered flag. If I keep on running, if I reach towards your shining light, one day you will be within my grasp. 

     For now, I’ll be content with strumming this simple song, quietly waiting for the day we share the same stage. Together, we’ll cast a spell over the audience, “You’ve fallen for me.” Every day, in my head, I’m day dreaming of the moment we meet. That day, you will no longer be a distant wish but have become a reality. So hurry up and realise that I love you.

Lemonade anyone?

When life gives us lemons, we make lemonade.

When life is a tipped over hourglass, what am I supposed to do? I pass days by with work and any means of passing time. I exercise, I write, I read, I become fixated on the fictional lives inside television dramas. I try to distract myself from self-destructing thoughts. I try not to think about the "Maybes."

Maybe I'll change my mind again?
Maybe next year won't be better afterall?
Maybe I'm making a mistake?
Maybe I should get engaged?
Maybe I'm really a horrible person?
Maybe my dreams will always remain such?
Maybe I 'm a little lost?

When life becomes complicated, I always try to think back to how it became this way. How did things end up the way they did? When did I start blending lemons instead of squeezing them? Then I realise that I think too much. If I stop thinking, maybe I'll start feeling again. Because, I fear that I may have lost my heart somewhere along this journey and I can't get it back.

Writer's block

I'm nearing the end of the A to Z challenge and I've suddenly been hit with writer's block..... Things are not looking good.

Today, Tomorrow, Tequila

I wake Tomorrow up with a bottle of tequila.
The drink swirls around inside my head.
Back and forth, the dizzy alcohol crashes my skull.
Tomorrow always comes.
And Yesterday always goes.
I can only hold Today in my hand.
Everything else in between slips through my fingers.
Slur my words for me, baby.
Because, I don't want a world that doesn't make sense.
But this Earth spins out of my control.
Grip the trembling railing, because this is Tipsy Turvy.
And I'm Alice in Wonderland, thinking,
"How the Hell do I get out of here?"
Nothing makes sense to this drowned heart.
I'm living at the bottom of a bottle.

Sorry Secrets

Inside my heart, I’m holding onto regrets.
They’re a melody that replays like a broken music box.
Sorry secrets, I should have given up on that day.
But I’m still holding tightly inside my palm.
It’s difficult to let go of pain.

Inside my heart, I’m holding onto regrets.
They’re a melody that replays like a broken music box.
Sorry secrets, I should have never let you go.
But now I’m just living inside of yesterday.
It’s difficult to let go of memories.

Inside my heart, I’m holding onto regrets.
They’re a melody that replays like a broken music box.
Sorry secrets, I keep on lying to you every day.
But I trap lies inside myself even more so.
It’s difficult to let go of these feelings. 

Inside my heart, I’m holding onto regrets.
They’re a melody that replays like a broken music box.
Sorry secrets, one day I’ll be somewhere far away.
But I’ll still hold onto that piece of you inside my heart.
It’s difficult to let go of love.

Red Spider Lily

We are a red spider lily, destined to never be.
Your leaves fall away, when my petals grow.
I live through summer and die in winter.
You thrive in the cold seasons.
I tiptpoe along this path of red,
threading pass gravestones.
There are connections that remain even into the next life.
And there are relationships that won't ever happen.
So why do we still love someone we can't ever have?
Even when we won't ever meet.
This love is only full of pain.
But even so, I love you still.

A Poem of Quotes

Note: Sorry for posting late again. This poem is consisted of lines from a few of my favourite books.

- - - - -

A poem of Quotes

If we burn, you burn with us.
Summer of 18 years old, deep in my heart there’s a broken sound.
Our only kiss was like an accident- a beautiful gasoline rainbow.
Lies can sound awfully pretty when a girl is in love with the person telling them.
You don’t love someone because they’re perfect,
You love them in spite the fact that they’re not.
I won’t ever leave you, even though you’re always leaving me.
Love is like the wind. You can’t see it but you can feel it.
Nothing that’s worthwhile is ever easy. Remember that.
I don't know that love changes. People change. Circumstances change.
You save yourself or you remain unsaved.
Because horror on Earth is real and it is every day.
It is like a flower or like the sun; it cannot be contained
A human life is a beautiful mess.

Sources (in order): Suzanne Collins: Mockingjay,  Hinako Ashihara: Sand Chronicles, Alice Sebold: The Lovely Bones, Grabrielle Zevin: All these things I've done, Jodi Picoult: My sister's keeper, Audrey Niffenegger: The Time traveler's wife, Nicolas Sparks: A walk to remember, Nicolas Sparks: Messege in a bottle, Alice Sebold: The Lovely bones and Gabrielle Zevin: Elsewhere.