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Showing posts with label happy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happy. Show all posts

Friday, August 30, 2013

Where did Writing go?

When I look at a blank page, I always have an urge to write. This urge hasn't changed even though I haven't written a short story or sat down to work on my manuscript properly for two months now. My love for words, my love for creative writing will always be strong. It's the one love I can trust to always exist.

A few years ago, I discovered spoken word poetry. It is the single most amazing art form I had the blessing of finding. I always loved poetry or any form of creative writing for that matter. But there is only so much words on paper can do. Spoken word or slam poetry to be precise is loud, actively passionate and engaging. You get your point across to a large amount of people in just a few minutes.

Last night, after years of chickening out, I finally participated in my first poetry slam. And the experience was absolutely amazing. Everyone was really good and I was so sure that I was the only crazy person who went up there without any prior experience. It was the single most scariest moment ever, my words are vulnerable to judgement in a single second. But it was amazing, having my voice float around and hopefully stroke some hearts and it was amazing that I could hear the audience clicking their fingers in appreciation.

In the end, I didn't get a ranking but I had a score of 7 out of 10 which was great considering I blanked out 4 lines from finishing my poem and last year's heat champion approached me, gave me tips and said that he liked my piece. That was incredible. At that moment, I decided, "This is awesome. I'm going to do this more often."

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Day 33: Those Days, Those Weeks

There are good weeks. Weeks where you will be motivated and inspired to sit at your ever-so-quick-to overheat laptop and study and write and the words will flow endlessly as though you're a dictionary or a thesaurus.

But you're not.

There are good weeks. Weeks where jogging in the morning and running against the lowering of the sun drives you out of bed in the morning and your toes are jumpy and you are so incredibly healthy because every fibre in your body is screaming with positivity as though you're a proton.

But you're not.

Because, there are bad weeks. Weeks where the words just won't flow and glaringly white word documents stare back at you for hours and you're not even motivated to write in your journal and words just won't write and every day that piles onto each other agitates the growing irritation inside you.

There are bad weeks. Weeks where the morning feels like night and you have to drag yourself out of bed because your body feels like lead and you constantly feel as though the Sandman is constantly pouring sand into your eyes and everything feels so sluggish and you force yourself to smile because you don't want people to be worried.

There are bad weeks. Weeks where you just want to lock your bedroom door, cover your head with your bedsheets and just cry into the mattress because you're so fucking sensitive to every emotion and any little thing people say can make you so fucking depressed that you wonder if you're slipping back into that abyss.

But you're not.

There are just bad weeks and good weeks. And after the bad weeks, good weeks follow. You just have to trudge through and remember all the good weeks.


Monday, June 3, 2013

Day 21: Holding Hands in the Rain

Note: Sorry for the late post! I had a lot going on this weekend.

We held hands in the rain while trying to stay desperately dry underneath your umbrella. In the distance, the harbour bridge lights up rainbows. The queue moved suddenly but slowly. I jabbed your rib every time you said that we were finally moving because every time you spoke, the queue stopped again.

We held hands in the rain as we waited for the concert gates to open. Every time the queue suddenly moved and stopped, I thought that the girl in front of me would poke my eyes out with her umbrella. Everyone was so jammed together, afraid that the concert would start without them.

We held hands in the rain as we strolled through the harbour with hot chocolate lingering on our tongues. Skipping puddles, we shared shivers of the first official winter night, our fluttering breaths disapparating in the air. We couldn't imagine how cold the rest of Winter would get.

We held hands in the rain because you said, "Don't let go." You wanted a change in our relationship. I wanted a transition. And we continued to hold hands because you adapted to my pace. Our footsteps echoed through the streets as we stepped into your car, finally driving home after a concert that left our hearts beating hard.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Day 4: It totally slipped my mind

Note: After a week of almost non-stop studying, I just crashed into bed and Friday was forgotten.

Lots of things have slipped my mind.
Friday's post. Saturday's post. And now it's Sunday.
Now it's May. Where did the days go?
In between going to lectures, attending club meetings
and finding time to exercise, I squeeze in more studying.
I forgot how it felt to be wanted.
It's the end of the second week of May.
It's that time again.
Blood tests and prescription changes.
Hypothyroidism maintenance.
It feels good to be so busy.
My life so full of life.


Thursday, May 9, 2013

Day 2: Studying

As I'm nearing the end of the first half of the academic year, I found myself buried underneath stacks of textbooks and hermiting away in my room, writing madly about weak-willed Ancient Greek women who saw death as an escape for all their troubles and how even though Australians like to believe that we live in an egalitarian society, it is not so.

Yesterday, as a change of environment, instead of my four-walled bedroom, I cooped myself into the university library for eight hours. I was there from noon till 9 with an hour lunch break. I haven't done this in two years. It feels really good to be back to studying. I can't believe two years have passed since then. One of my colleagues asked me last week if I was happy. I smiled in reply, "I'm happy." I haven't been this happy since three years ago. Every day, I go to bed content with my life. Things are good.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Every Life has a Story Worth Being Told

Every day, we're living a chapter, a story that could be recounted, or story-told. The vital point is that, do you, the main character in this story believe that your story is worth telling? If not, is there something you can do about it?

"Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing." Benjamin Franklin

With this quote in mind, I would like to start my own project 365. However, not with photography. I'm a writer so evidently, the medium will be writing. I haven't been blogging much lately so there probably won't be many readers but t
his project is more of a self-motivation to live a more purposeful and eventful life than a marketing scheme because the days are short and the years pass by without our knowing. I think we would be a lot happier knowing we spent our days with meaning. 

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Strong

Once, a sparrow was caught in a tinted cage of over nurture.
All she wanted to do was fly, she chirped at the man.
But all he saw was her small delicate wings.
 
The world is not a place for little ones.
The strong winds would knock you down
And predators would swallow you whole.


But she wasn't afraid.
The sky was her home and it sang to her.
She refused to eat until he gave her freedom.

The world may not be kind to little ones.
But I'm stronger than you believe.
Your love is restraining where it is meant to release.


He was reluctant to let her go but didn't want her to die.
She kissed him farewell and disappeared amongst the clouds,
Leaving him a song to remember, always.


Monday, February 13, 2012

Pre-Valentine's day

Dear beloved followers,

Tomorrow is Valentine's day in Australia. And every year, I write a little something to remind people that it's okay to be alone on that day. Because, it's not about how many roses or teddy bears you receive in your mail. It's not about whether or not you get serenaded at your office during lunch. It's about how you spend that day. Valentine's day symbolises love.

And love, it is not exclusively for people in relationships. It includes your friends and family too. But most importantly, it's a day to appreciate yourself even if others don't. Spend tomorrow doing something you love. Slip on your favourite outfit, take yourself to your favourite restaurant and enjoy a good meal. Or spend the night in with other friends and enjoy a movie night. Or if you're a book lover like me, spend the day surrounded by walls of shelves at the local library or bookstore. Whatever you're doing, do something you love because you have to remember to love yourself too.

Tomorrow morning, I'm going to dress up nicely and take the first train down south. There's this gorgeous place that I've been meaning to explore so I'm going to treat myself to a little adventure. Because, even if there's no one to take me, it doesn't mean I can't take myself. I'm not going to lose. I will have fun. Because, I'm not going to let a commercialised day let me down. Valentine's day, is a day about love. But even without the reminder, I know to appreciate the people who are important to me.

And that means remembering that you are important too. So beloved followers, whatever your plans are for Valentine's day, love your friends, love your family, love your partner but most importantly, love yourself.

Hugs and kisses,

Lucy

Ps. I I think I repeated myself a few times but you get the point right? Also, this could have been a lot worse if I had decided to follow through with vlogging this post.


Saturday, December 24, 2011

Colour

Red is for passion in the arms of a kiss
Orange is for holding hands, watching the sunset
Yellow is for waking to the morning in your bed
Green is for pickingg clovers in a field of dreams
Blue is for happiness just caught in my fingertips
Indigo is for a love that was a second too late
Violet is for memories you'll always keep


Thursday, December 22, 2011

Love is strange.
It compels us to do things we wouldn't normally do.
We accept things we wouldn't normally accept with others.
It gives us strength when we're normally weak.
But it makes us happy like nothing else can.


Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Blood Moon

I gazed up at the moon. It's usual sheen of silver and pearl was replaced by a haze of deep red. There was a scientific explanation for this. Something about sun's rays were being blocked. Something about light particles. Something about the same reason the sky is blue.

I didn't particularly care.

All I knew was, on that beautiful rare night, you were on the other side of the phone.
You were not standing beside me but it almost felt that way.
The sky is always the same.


Monday, December 12, 2011

He whispers into my ear, "I'll take care of you."
And I smile back, "I know"


Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Stranger

I close my eyes when I hear your voice; trying to piece together the expressions and the movements that match your words. I've only ever seen photos of you, smiling at the person behind the lens. I wonder what you were thinking at the time. How your life was like before I came along? Were you sad? Were you happy? Did I change anything at all? Like how you changed mine.

You have no idea how I long to be in the same space and time as you. I may seem more patient than you but inside my internal clock is counting down to that day. One week left. I wonder if it would rain? Five days left. Will you be as warm as you were on the phone? Two days left. What clothes should I wear? One day left. I can't sleep.

Dear, on the day, I'll be too shy to even say, "Hello".

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Prince Charming

I stepped out of my small Mazda and adjusted my scarf while crossing the dimly lit street. The air was cold and my breath floated like will-o-the-wisps. I slipped through the rusty back gate and was enveloped by the booming sound of music and crashing bodies.

In the back half of the yard was a matted platform where boys clothed in black were performing near impossible acts of acrobatics. But this wasn't gymnastics, this art. Martial arts. I blushed as people started to notice me. I was never comfortable with being in the spotlight; especially when I was the only girl in the vicinity.

My brother nodded his head in my direction. It was his silent way of acknowledging my presence as he continued his training. The plan was for me to watch quietly by the sidelines but my friend James was never a follower of plans, 'ANNA!!!' I watched in horror as he yelled my name while running across the yard with Eriol behind him. They stopped short of collapsing on me and threw their sweat dripping shirts over my head. The boys laughed when I screamed in agony of the stench, 'Ahhhhhhh!!!! Gross, get your sweat off me! Go back to your training!'

James laughed as he picked up his shirt and skipped back to the mats with his weekly mission completed. I was now left with Eriol who was comfortably standing in the Winter night, topless. I flicked him a look, 'Hey Prince Charming, aren't you going to put your shirt back on?' He leaned over me and whispered into my ear huskily, 'I was under the impression that you liked staring at my irresistible naked chest.' I pushed him away while shivering at the slight touch, 'Just put your shirt back on.'

He smiled at me, 'Only if you're the one doing it for me.'
I couldn't help but let out a laugh, 'You, my dear friend have a really big head.' Eriol grinned openly and shrugged nonchalantly, 'Hey, I thought you already knew that, what with my irresistible charm.' He then tugged at my wrist and lead me into a empty training hall, away from the others. I looked up at him puzzled as he closed the door, 'Why are we in the training hall?'

'Because you're going to help me wear my shirt.' I sighed in defeat, I was never going to win against him. He leaned down so that I could fit the collar over his head. As he straightened up, he wrapped his arms around my waist and drew me closer to him. Eriol then pushed my back against the wall and I realised what he was about to do. He inclined his head and searched my eyes intently, asking for permission. Because, he was Prince Charming, he would never stoop to the level of forcing himself onto anyone.

But I wasn't ready.

I placed my hand gently over his lips and whispered, 'No.' He gazed at me with a look of confusion and hurt but didn't question me. I turned away from him, 'Sorry Eriol, you're moving a bit fast. There's still so much I don't know about you.' His fingers guided my face towards him again, 'I'm sorry. How about I take you to dinner tomorrow and give you the chance to become familiar with me?'

I smiled at him, 'You always have an answer to everything. Come on, we should head back. My brother's waiting for me.' So we returned outside with Eriol holding my hand firmly. I was about to leave with my brother when Eriol called for the attention of everyone that wasn't already staring at us. And our hands.
'Attention all losers! I officially have a date with Anna tomorrow!' Eriol beamed as everyone either screamed with excitment or groaned in disappointment. There were boys who to my suprise were visibly stone shocked.

I flicked an embarrassed glance at Eriol, 'You're so not charming.'
He replied simply, 'They're just sad they can't secretly admire you anymore.'

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Precious little moments

Men, it seems that they always give me heart ache but that's not quite true.
There are moments that still make me smile, even if I no longer remember his face, his voice or his touch, I'll still remember the feelings that flowed inside me at that moment.
Those are the precious little moments that makes life just a bit more pleasant.

For us girls and women, these moments are like small victories.
But they're private and precious. Something to remembered with a small smile and not a wide grin.
You know those moments; they are like sunflowers blooming inside your heart.
They are warm but fleeting, like a bag of sunshine you keep in your pocket for a rainy day.
And they're different to each and every one of us.

It could be brushing fingertips with your high school crush.
It could be sleeping on the shoulder of your most loved one.
It could be recieving chocolate in the middle of the night.
Or it could just simply be a smile.

And sometimes, that's more than enough.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Long time no see

Dear Unknowing,

It surprised me to find an invite from you in my inbox, after all this time.
I wonder what thought crossed your mind as you clicked on the send button. But it doesn't really matter. The fact that you actually actively sought for me is enough. I thought that much much more time would have to pass before we talk again. But I'm glad that I was wrong.

How have you been? I have so many questions to ask you. Its good to be able to ask the person himself. I can finally end my pile of unsent letters. Its good to be friends again.

We have lots to catch up on.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

He beat me

My friend who called my longing for Love, "sappy" beat me. He who has more flings than James Bond and Casanova ( I mean that in the most affectionist way possible) combined beat me. He found his first relationship of the year. While I who searched so hard so thoroughly has yet to find anyone.

But I'm happy for him.

He's beginning to take women more seriously and respect them more. I thought that it would take years before he would begin a proper relationship. I'm really proud of him. And I hope to catch up to him soon. However, I don't want to rush into things and make mistakes. Even though, I'm impatient I'm willing to wait.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Blooming flower

Dear Beloved Lovesick Fools,

Sorry for the long wait. I've just been so drained of energy lately because of university and lacking time, I haven't been writing much. And also, I've had my longest period of writer's block and am happy to post my most recent piece of writing. Thanks for being patient with me! =)

  - - - -


He said, 'You smell nice.'
And that was it.
Your heart lunges and twists in your chest.
That's all you ever wanted to hear.
A compliment as sweet as its meaning.
Simple like his touch.
But its more than enough.
To make you crave for more.
More and more.
You spray the rose-tainted perfume
behind your ears and in the hollow of your throat
Where you hope your voice becomes like honey
And someone falls for the nectar in your petals.
Because girls, like flowers, bloom for only so long.


Monday, February 14, 2011

Love yourself

Today is Valentine's day in Australia and I thought that this is a great opportunity to remind everyone that even if you don't have a Valentine, its not the end of the world. So what if that boy sitting across the classroom doesn't notice you? And it doesn't matter that the cute girl you've been catching the bus with doesn't know your existence. Cheer up!! First of all, you have to be able to love yourself before someone can love you.

So today, no matter what you're doing, save a little time to pamper yourself. You deserve it!!

Tips for girls:

1. Run a bath of hot water and add your choice of either:
    a. bubble bath solution
    b. Scented bath oils
    c. Bath crystals
2. Play soothing music in the background.
3. Instead of the hassle of cooking today, order from your favourite takeway restaurant.
4. Curl up to a good book or watch your favourite film.
5. Treat yourself to Chocolate!!!

I'm not quite sure what makes men relax but here are a few tips anyway.

Boys:

1. Run a bath of hot water while listening to music.
2. Instead of the hassle of cooking today, order from your favourite takeway restaurant.
3. Watch a movie marathon or play a few rounds of video games with your mates.
4. Treat yourself to Chocolate!!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!


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