Corpse Bride

Strangled throat with red hand marks.
Tear stained cheeks and blotched mascara.
Hollowed eye sockets, searching for an escape.
I’m a skeleton bride walking down the aisle.
Decaying skin peels for wriggling maggots.
White boned hands grasping on a thin thread.
There is something suffocating,
about a chained ring finger.
Inescapable. Unbreathable.
Noose hangs from my neck.
I can’t breathe through your hold on me.
Feels like I’m the walking dead.
Or I have been buried alive.
Bloodied nails clawing at unopened casket.
I’m screaming but I can’t be heard.
Chewed up tongue lost between brittle teeth.
Speak now or forever hold your peace.

Eden for Eternity

We spend all our lives searching.
For an escape. For a better reality. For paradise.
For that intangible Eden. 

We waste our days trying to return.
To that garden where perfection lied.
But the past cannot be reached.
It is lost.

Eden is not in our memories or our visions of tomorrow.
It is in our present.
It is every second we make precious.
The time we spend meaningfully. 

Time never pauses for the present.
We always live in today.
Our family and friends are our Utopia.
The people we love are Garden of Eden.
That is Eternity. 

Frozen hourglass

There used to be a time when the words came easily.
Those days are grains of sand that pass through my fingers
They slowly pile underneath my feet like snow
Time is fragile like the snowflakes we used to dream of
Tomorrow is constantly falling over my head
It drowns me, dragging me by the feet into the depths of yesterday
When did my heart stop beating for you?
Gradually, my time is becoming frozen.
Ice trickles my skin until I can’t feel anything but the numb.
My hourglass has tipped over, its glass cracked and broken.
Sand is spilling onto the ground, lost to the fickle hands of Life.
Time is forever stopped at that precious second of yesterday.
And I’m sleeping beauty, waiting for my prince to wake me up.
But Time waits for no one; not even for a frozen princess. 
Not even for you.

Blood Moon

I gazed up at the moon. It's usual sheen of silver and pearl was replaced by a haze of deep red. There was a scientific explanation for this. Something about sun's rays were being blocked. Something about light particles. Something about the same reason the sky is blue.

I didn't particularly care.

All I knew was, on that beautiful rare night, you were on the other side of the phone.
You were not standing beside me but it almost felt that way.
The sky is always the same.

The Drive

 Happy Halloween!
- - - - - - - -

She waits at the side of the road for a lift in the midnight.
The stars dim as he stops his car beside her. She smiles and steps inside.
They don't drive home; they have no destination.
Just merely driving through the rain on that desolate night.
Through that lonely road, they keep on driving.
The creaking of the windshield wiper is their only music.
The radio was broken long ago in an accident.
But it no longer matters, they don't need materialistic devices anymore.
They only need each other. He was her only company.
They were on a never ending journey to no where.
No one can find them when they exist on the borderline of reality.
And come each night to repeat the same journey to the in-between.
They gave up home when they drove away and never looked back.
Now only searching for a place to belong
But they're not going to escape this infinite cycle of de ja vu.

I'm still waiting

I am waiting outside my doorstep.
With my eyes on my wrist.
The watch keeps on ticking, like how I keep on hoping.
Golden leaves soon replace the falling petals.
Dear, the seasons are changing.
Times are wasting.
I'm still aging.
But I'm still staring at passers-by.

I am waiting for that familiar smile.
That's half hidden and half a smirk.
Those cocky eye brows and sparkling eyes.
That fades away day by day.
Dear, I might as well be hallucinating.
I'm growing bolder.
Aches pain my shoulders.
I'm young no longer.
But I'm still searching for your eyes.

I am waiting behind the window.
Outside is too cold for me now.
Memories are now fueled by photographs.
They are immortal unlike me.
Dear, time is almost ending.
In the corner of my eyes, Death holds his scythe.
He waits for me, like I wait for you.
Death follows love, its true.
I'm welcoming being born anew.
But I'm still waiting for your return.

Promised Place

 

In the midnight field, I lie with stars of fireflies. Resting here, it seems to me that I'm indeed alone with only the singing wind and stars as company. However, I'm not afraid as they are familiar to me as my own reflection. They quiver with wings that whisper questions onto my bare neck. Why are you here alone? I am waiting for someone.

     He helped her up the last crumbled rock and welcomed her to where the sky met the sleeping earth. Together, while their breaths flickered, they watched as the sun gave way to twilight. She glanced at him curiously, 'Why are we here?' For a while, he didn't say a word and the only sound was the dancing grass. 'Slowly, I am forgetting day by day. It matters not if I lose myself but to forget you is like living in a void' He caressed her cheek, 'Even though I will be gone my feelings for you will continue to live on. They will linger in the kisses of petals and flutter with the fireflies because as long as our sacred place exists, I will always love you.'

That is our promise.

    Stars. They are the memories of the living and the souls of the dead. And fireflies. They are the diligent carriers of lovers, connecting those that are separated. I breathe them in and pray that my soul will reach where he is. My long silver hair melts with the grass as I let out a breath. I am not what I used be. My eyesight has worsened and my limbs ache but I will never forget because our promised place still lives. I will continue to wait for the day that I will meet him again. How long must you wait for? Aren't you lonely? I'm not lonely as his memories are everywhere. Soon, I will meet him soon. My time is coming.

    She watched the machine as it copies his every heartbeat: the lows and the highs but particularly the lows. They said he was barely there and it was best if she bid him farewell. But to pull the cord, she didn't know if she could let him go but she won't have strangers performing the only role she had left. She clasped his cool hand that were always larger than hers and brushed them against her lips. Why. . . Even though he will forget her. . .Even though he will disappear. . .Always, she loved him and only him.

Farewell.

    I close my eyes as the fireflies slowly dance around me and engulf me. Until I become no more but a glow of moonlight. They breathed in my last thought and spirited me away with a curtain of lover's golden light. Finally, I am light and airborne. I am inside the bark of the weeping willow and I am the tears of the streams. I am the fireflies and the distant stars. I am no longer alone because I'm finally beside him.

We are our promised place.

Waiting. . .

Inside this heart, I am waiting, sitting in the very corner of darkness. Please, if you're the one I'm waiting for, please open my door. And let in the light. If by chance you are not who I'm waiting for, please stay for a while and enjoy the peek of sunlight with me.

Secretly and unknowingly or maybe I had always known that whenever I write, I write for him. I write to find my fated one. I write for him to notice me and praise me. Our only connection is our love for words. I want my fated one to notice that I'm fated for him.

So unknowingly, this has become somewhere I've placed all the words meant for him. Even though, he shall never come to know its existance, this blog is a precious place. This blog, is where all my unsaid words go and forever will go. Because secretly, I would like for him to know these words. This voice of my heart.

Everyday, I ask myself 'What am I waiting for?' The question itself is simple but my answer is layered and complicated. I am waiting for the day where he will with his own initiative, talk to me. I am waiting for when my voice reaches his heart.
And I'm waiting for my fated one to notice that I'm fated for him.

I am not usually the type to wait but I know that I'm being very selfish with these one-sided feelings of mine and that he was probably troubled by these feelings so I wish to no longer to interfere with his happiness, even if his happiness is not with me. I am happy enough for now to have met him because he has occupied so much space in my heart, there is no longer any room for anyone else. It is because of him that I have hurt but because I hurt, I discovered these precious feelings.

Even though, we may not ever meet again in this life and I may find another, he shall always be my fated one who taught me how to love and how to express my love. I shall always remember him and always love him. Even after death, my soul will still remember him because I believe in the day that we will be together.

I am silently waiting for the voices of the heart broken to reach my fated one.

Do you believe in true Love?

If so Eternity is nothing. . .