2011 was the year where everything that could go wrong, did. It was the year where I was drowning in everyone's expectations but more importantly I was pushing my own head underneath the water. And I couldn't breathe. Every time I think back to that year, I find myself hyperventilating.
I'm afraid of failing.
2011 was the year where I let myself fall into temptation out of desperation. It wasn't love. And it wasn't quite lust either. It was just two lonely people seeking comfort in each other's warmth. At that far corner of my mind, I knew you were using me but I let you because I was using you too. I needed to feel my heart bashing against my ribcage. I needed to feel loved. I needed to feel alive.
I was afraid that I was dying inside.
2011 was the year where I died inside my head almost every night. I thought I was going crazy. I was losing a battle with the crazies inside my mind. I spent my days psychoanalysing myself. I was one step away from a mental breakdown. And I didn't want anyone to know. I didn't want anyone to know that I was losing.
I was afraid of my own shame.
2011 was the year where I barely survived. I came out of that abyss with scars that would haunt me for life. It was the year where I met you and learned to doubt emotions. You told me what I wanted to hear. You tainted my precious words. Promises to you meant nothing: they were simply sweet nothings.
I'm afraid of promises.
Showing posts with label truth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label truth. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Day 19: One of Those Nights
Tonight is just one of those nights
Where weeks and days have taken their toll
And I just want to pull my hair and scream out of control
Tonight is just one of those nights
Where a double bed is twice too large for an empty heart
And I just want to fetal curl and fall apart
Tonight is just one of those nights
Where I pull out that hidden bottle of vodka
And drink myself into a schizophrenic coma
Tonight is just one of those nights
Where calculations of money is lost in The Tardis
And I can't remember what I purchased
Tonight is just one of those nights
Where I would get lost in momentary danger
And wake up next morning with a stranger
Tonight is just one of those nights
Where a bottle of vodka simply won't do
And the burn is just a cheap replacement of you
Where weeks and days have taken their toll
And I just want to pull my hair and scream out of control
Tonight is just one of those nights
Where a double bed is twice too large for an empty heart
And I just want to fetal curl and fall apart
Tonight is just one of those nights
Where I pull out that hidden bottle of vodka
And drink myself into a schizophrenic coma
Tonight is just one of those nights
Where calculations of money is lost in The Tardis
And I can't remember what I purchased
Tonight is just one of those nights
Where I would get lost in momentary danger
And wake up next morning with a stranger
Tonight is just one of those nights
Where a bottle of vodka simply won't do
And the burn is just a cheap replacement of you
Monday, May 27, 2013
Day 17: Letter of Farewell
These are the words I would have said at your funeral if I had attended. If only I had known. You were a good man. My memory of you will always be of you struggling to get up from your seat in your old age to welcome me into your home. A warm second home.
Rest in peace, up there in heaven. Where surely that is where you are now. I promise I will look after the boys. My brother and your grandson because they're both my brothers. I will make sure that they grow up to become good proper men. To make sure they don't follow the wrong crowds, don't lose their way but if they do, I'll be there to guide them back onto the right path to a good and moral life. I promise to be there in your place. I will love both the boys.
These are my words to you.
Rest in peace, up there in heaven. Where surely that is where you are now. I promise I will look after the boys. My brother and your grandson because they're both my brothers. I will make sure that they grow up to become good proper men. To make sure they don't follow the wrong crowds, don't lose their way but if they do, I'll be there to guide them back onto the right path to a good and moral life. I promise to be there in your place. I will love both the boys.
These are my words to you.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Pillar and wall
Dedication: to all the important people in my life. Thank you for always being there even when I went into hiding.
- - - - -
When I was at my lowest, I pushed you away.
I don’t ever want you to see me like that.
Fragile like the paper wings of faeries I see in mirages.
Broken like the crumbs of smashed up porcelain.
Hydrating my soul on shots of tequila.
Sometimes, I picked up my phone but didn’t know who to call.
I didn’t know how to voice the words that died in the pit of my clenched throat.
They tumbled like clothes in the vortex of a washing machine.
The numbers I pressed were never dialled.
Too afraid to let go of my pride.
Because, I wasn’t supposed to be the weak one.
I was the pillar that held everyone else.
I picked up the broken pieces and glued each delicate fracture together.
All your happiness were my smiles because I couldn’t produce my own.
Somewhere along the way, my threads started becoming undone.
I don’t ever want you to see me like that.
Fragile like the paper wings of faeries I see in mirages.
Broken like the crumbs of smashed up porcelain.
Hydrating my soul on shots of tequila.
Sometimes, I picked up my phone but didn’t know who to call.
I didn’t know how to voice the words that died in the pit of my clenched throat.
They tumbled like clothes in the vortex of a washing machine.
The numbers I pressed were never dialled.
Too afraid to let go of my pride.
Because, I wasn’t supposed to be the weak one.
I was the pillar that held everyone else.
I picked up the broken pieces and glued each delicate fracture together.
All your happiness were my smiles because I couldn’t produce my own.
Somewhere along the way, my threads started becoming undone.
When I lost myself in the abyss,
almost too far to reach with a single hand.
Your words rescued me before it was too late.
All your warmth and all your concerns, made me remember
That I was never truly alone.
That the knife that was so close to piercing,
should never have broken through my walls.
Your words rescued me before it was too late.
All your warmth and all your concerns, made me remember
That I was never truly alone.
That the knife that was so close to piercing,
should never have broken through my walls.
You are my walls.
You protect me from all that’s wrong with the world.
Constantly reminding me that I am loved.
As I have always loved you.
You protect me from all that’s wrong with the world.
Constantly reminding me that I am loved.
As I have always loved you.
Thank you.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
I believe....
Inspired by Barry's post: What I believe
- I believe that you can indeed love more than one person at a time but for different reasons and in different ways.
- I believe that people no matter their age, gender, race, sexuality, physical or mental ability have a voice and that their voice should never be ignored.
- I believe in a love that last forever.
- I believe that parents should always be supportive of their children's decisions, even if it's wrong. They will discover that themselves.
- I believe promises are meant to be kept. Always.
- I believe that hope is never lost. It is found when we need it the most.
- I believe that violence is never the solution.
- I believe that if you're good, people will eventually realise. You shouldn't have to prove anything.
- I believe that people who hurt others for the fun of it are sick individuals. Entertainment should never be at the expense of others' safety.
- I believe people who burn books are missing out on a whole lot of knowledge.
- I believe that a smile doesn't always mean you're happy.
- I believe it takes time to get to know someone. Anyone who says that they can become someone's best friend in a few minutes has seriously misunderstood that word's definition.
- I believe it takes a lifetime to truly know someone.
- I believe that there are spirits.
- I believe people should always be given the benefit of a doubt.
- I believe animals have feelings and thoughts that matter.
- I believe that it's okay to cry when you feel weak.
- I believe that it's okay to sometimes feel weak.
- I believe that just because you wear lace stockings it doesn't mean you're a hooker.
- I believe that there is more love in this world than hate.
- I believe that you should only ever say, "I love you" when you truly mean it.
- I believe words are beautiful and profanity is ugly.
- I believe that leaving doesn't always mean running away. It means you need space to be alone.
- I believe that revenge does nothing for the past or future. It only gives you temporary relief.
- I believe that no one owns another person. No one has an obligation to stay in any relationship whether that is family, friends or lover.
- I believe that everyone has a right to live in safety. No one should have to live everyday in fear of their lives or others.
- I believe hands are meant for caressing and lips are meant for kissing. They're not meant for hurting.
- I believe in Heaven and Hell.
- I believe that things can't always be bad.
- I believe that the world won't end this year.
- I believe that the guitar is one of the most beautiful instruments ever.
- I believe in good old fashioned love letters. They show more sincerity than an email or a text.
- I believe that I'm going to be alone this Valentine's day but that's okay because I don't need a commercialised day to tell me how to appreciate the people that are important to me.
- I believe that people will always judge but that doesn't mean you should listen to them.
- I believe that life should always be given and not taken.
- I believe that no one should ever be judged by their appearance. Size doesn't matter. Just because you're small doesn't mean you're not strong. Just because you're big doesn't mean you don't feel pain.
- I believe that I can't ever hate anyone.
- I believe that no matter how confused of who I am or who I want to be, I'll never be confused of my feelings. I know that I love you. Because I am always going to a lover.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Intoxication
Nothing clears the mind better than not being able to think logically.
Drink me up until I'm full, spill my heart over the ledge until I'm nothing.
Darling, what if I say I quit?
Will you love me still?
Or did you only love me because I had a tiara over my head?
What if I become nothing at all?
What if I'm just a whirlwind of broken emotions and scattered pieces?
Vodka, tequila, whiskey, blue, red, purple, nothing makes sense.
Inside my head, I'm nursing a crippling canvas and that's okay too.
Because, we're all scarred in some way.
I'm just better at smiling than others.
Drink me up until I'm full, spill my heart over the ledge until I'm nothing.
Darling, what if I say I quit?
Will you love me still?
Or did you only love me because I had a tiara over my head?
What if I become nothing at all?
What if I'm just a whirlwind of broken emotions and scattered pieces?
Vodka, tequila, whiskey, blue, red, purple, nothing makes sense.
Inside my head, I'm nursing a crippling canvas and that's okay too.
Because, we're all scarred in some way.
I'm just better at smiling than others.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Voice
This poem is my entry for the Freedom of speech writing contest held by WritersUtopia at DeviantART:
We're standing face-to-face yet,
I feel as though the ground has collapsed underneath me.
I'm screaming from the bottom of a never ending ditch.
How come my words are like the flutter of the breeze that brushes pass you?
Why don't you listen to me?
Don't bury me alive while I'm still crying for attention.
Listen to my pleas.
Listen to my anger.
I have opinions that matter.
I have a voice.
We're standing face-to-face yet,
I feel as though the ground has collapsed underneath me.
I'm screaming from the bottom of a never ending ditch.
How come my words are like the flutter of the breeze that brushes pass you?
Why don't you listen to me?
Don't bury me alive while I'm still crying for attention.
Listen to my pleas.
Listen to my anger.
I have opinions that matter.
I have a voice.
We’re standing face-to-face yet,
I feel as though you’re on a pedestal that I can’t crawl to.
Your words suffocate me like a child drowning in the ocean.
Salt water bleeds my lungs and pulls me below.
I thought that beneath God, we were all supposed to be equal?
Then why do my words crumble underneath your feet like gravel?
Don’t lock me inside a cage.
I am not a bird caught and imprisoned.
I have emotions that need release.
I have feelings that have been abandoned.
I have a heart.
I feel as though you’re on a pedestal that I can’t crawl to.
Your words suffocate me like a child drowning in the ocean.
Salt water bleeds my lungs and pulls me below.
I thought that beneath God, we were all supposed to be equal?
Then why do my words crumble underneath your feet like gravel?
Don’t lock me inside a cage.
I am not a bird caught and imprisoned.
I have emotions that need release.
I have feelings that have been abandoned.
I have a heart.
We’re standing face-to-face yet,
I feel as though you are seeing right through me.
My hands, my voice doesn’t reach you where you are.
Isn’t the blood that bleeds in your veins the same as mine?
Aren’t we all humans on this fragile aging Earth?
How come my efforts come to nothing compared to you?
Why must I fight to be heard over the bellow of your whisper?
All our actions should have the same consequences.
I have the right to be respected.
I have the right to freedom.
I feel as though you are seeing right through me.
My hands, my voice doesn’t reach you where you are.
Isn’t the blood that bleeds in your veins the same as mine?
Aren’t we all humans on this fragile aging Earth?
How come my efforts come to nothing compared to you?
Why must I fight to be heard over the bellow of your whisper?
All our actions should have the same consequences.
I have the right to be respected.
I have the right to freedom.
I am human.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
I miss you
It's a new year. A new day.
But I feel so old.
I smile with friends when I feel like crying but I don't.
Because this was a choice I made.
And nothing I do or say will change anything.
I just wish you were here beside me right now.
I only dare whisper it into my pillow.
Because, it is cruel of me to want you,
When I was the one who walked away.
I miss you.
But I feel so old.
I smile with friends when I feel like crying but I don't.
Because this was a choice I made.
And nothing I do or say will change anything.
I just wish you were here beside me right now.
I only dare whisper it into my pillow.
Because, it is cruel of me to want you,
When I was the one who walked away.
I miss you.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Doctor
I must gulp down the pill every morning.
Because I'm in between the feeling of sick and well.
I don't know what that means anymore.
Doctor, am I not well?
The nights are hazy and heavy with early sleeps.
The mornings are burdened with dragging feet.
Everything was supposed to be fine.
But I'm always exhausted and drained.
"Come back next time and we'll celebrate your health"
What happened to that party? It never occurred.
What am I supposed to do on these Limbo days?
I can't stand all these whirling emotions.
What am I supposed to do with all these bottled tears?
Because I'm in between the feeling of sick and well.
I don't know what that means anymore.
Doctor, am I not well?
The nights are hazy and heavy with early sleeps.
The mornings are burdened with dragging feet.
Everything was supposed to be fine.
But I'm always exhausted and drained.
"Come back next time and we'll celebrate your health"
What happened to that party? It never occurred.
What am I supposed to do on these Limbo days?
I can't stand all these whirling emotions.
What am I supposed to do with all these bottled tears?
How am I to do anything when I feel like doing nothing at all?
Or am I too tired to be thinking straight?
Is it all in my head?
These days, I've just been thinking.
And thinking is all I do.
I'm just so tired.
Doctor.
Or am I too tired to be thinking straight?
Is it all in my head?
These days, I've just been thinking.
And thinking is all I do.
I'm just so tired.
Doctor.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Numbing
Sometimes
I close the door on myself
And lock myself from reaching others
Because there are days where
I don't want to talk.
Or rather
I don't know how to
Open my mouth and make sense
Of the whirling emotions and
Flashbacks that only I know of.
Wrapped in my own little world
Of dog-eared books and journals of the past
I am quickly burying myself deeper
In this numbing abyss
And I'm scared that I cannot escape.
I close the door on myself
And lock myself from reaching others
Because there are days where
I don't want to talk.
Or rather
I don't know how to
Open my mouth and make sense
Of the whirling emotions and
Flashbacks that only I know of.
Wrapped in my own little world
Of dog-eared books and journals of the past
I am quickly burying myself deeper
In this numbing abyss
And I'm scared that I cannot escape.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Lies
Lies.
Sometimes, they are much more preferred than the truth. I hate you. I hate you. Sometimes, the truth is too much for one to handle. It is like a creamy slice of chocolate mud cake. Eating the whole cake is too sickly sweet that it becomes disgusting. You end up emptying your stomach into the rubbish bin, along with your affection for chocolate.
Sometimes, words can be tainted like snow. The more white and pure something is, the filthier it appears once smeared with merely a drop of blood. I much prefer the twisted beauty of the spider's web. It is like the red thread that binds those who are destined together. However, if yours is not connected to mine, then I don't want to know. I want to spin my web around you until your chest hurts so much that it mirrors a heart in love. Tell me that you love me. Tell me lies.
Lies.
They are told every day. They are more common than eating breakfast. Sometimes, what may seem like the truth is actually a lie. I don't love you. I don't love you. Its a lie told so artfully that even the creator cannot tell the difference. You may not know it but there is a thin line between True and False. It is a simple step in and out the door. Sometimes, after you step into the realm of Lies, the door shuts behind, leaving you in a life of Eternal lies.
Sometimes, the liar is someone you cannot expect. If I were you, I would not pry into why. You would be digging yourself a grave that cannot be escaped from. Reasons. There are reasons why people lie to begin with. Reasons you much prefer not to know. Sometimes, lies are much more preferred than the truth. Sometimes, people accept lies because its easier to comprehend. Tell me lies. Tell me lies. And I will continue to lie on your behalf.
I don't love you.
Sometimes, they are much more preferred than the truth. I hate you. I hate you. Sometimes, the truth is too much for one to handle. It is like a creamy slice of chocolate mud cake. Eating the whole cake is too sickly sweet that it becomes disgusting. You end up emptying your stomach into the rubbish bin, along with your affection for chocolate.
Sometimes, words can be tainted like snow. The more white and pure something is, the filthier it appears once smeared with merely a drop of blood. I much prefer the twisted beauty of the spider's web. It is like the red thread that binds those who are destined together. However, if yours is not connected to mine, then I don't want to know. I want to spin my web around you until your chest hurts so much that it mirrors a heart in love. Tell me that you love me. Tell me lies.
Lies.
They are told every day. They are more common than eating breakfast. Sometimes, what may seem like the truth is actually a lie. I don't love you. I don't love you. Its a lie told so artfully that even the creator cannot tell the difference. You may not know it but there is a thin line between True and False. It is a simple step in and out the door. Sometimes, after you step into the realm of Lies, the door shuts behind, leaving you in a life of Eternal lies.
Sometimes, the liar is someone you cannot expect. If I were you, I would not pry into why. You would be digging yourself a grave that cannot be escaped from. Reasons. There are reasons why people lie to begin with. Reasons you much prefer not to know. Sometimes, lies are much more preferred than the truth. Sometimes, people accept lies because its easier to comprehend. Tell me lies. Tell me lies. And I will continue to lie on your behalf.
I don't love you.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
What is real?
This is a response to a response of my previous post called: Days
-----------
Someone said that if I write something real, he'll actually read my writing.
Real.
What is real? Define real. It is different to different people.
Are my feelings not real?
No.
My feelings are real. That's why they don't make any damn sense.
I want to write something more pleasing, something more happy but
It feels so fake. So cliche. Not real.
I feel that I'm not suited to write a happy ending just yet. The timing is off.
And I know that might be excuses for my lack of skills but I'm working on it.
Right now, the words just tangle amongst themselves. And I'm trying to make sense of my emotions.
I can take criticism when it comes to my writing because I always want to improve.
But.
Don't ever say that my feelings aren't real.
Its me entirely, so don't say that I'm not real.
I can't take that.
-----------
Someone said that if I write something real, he'll actually read my writing.
Real.
What is real? Define real. It is different to different people.
Are my feelings not real?
No.
My feelings are real. That's why they don't make any damn sense.
I want to write something more pleasing, something more happy but
It feels so fake. So cliche. Not real.
I feel that I'm not suited to write a happy ending just yet. The timing is off.
And I know that might be excuses for my lack of skills but I'm working on it.
Right now, the words just tangle amongst themselves. And I'm trying to make sense of my emotions.
I can take criticism when it comes to my writing because I always want to improve.
But.
Don't ever say that my feelings aren't real.
Its me entirely, so don't say that I'm not real.
I can't take that.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Can you see through my mask?
This was inspired by Vencora's post Highlighting another weakness
I think I established earlier on somewhere that I am a walking contradiction.
I say that I trust everyone. I give them the benefit of the doubt. And to a certain extent I do trust everyone.
I am extremely comfortable talking about myself to complete strangers as I am doing so right this instant.
I always want to make close connections with people I come in contact with. I delight in making bonds and memories with everyone I meet.
However. . .
The second someone becomes too close I get agitated. Extremely agitated. And I don't know why.
The instant someone starts to know too much about me, I start to panic. I feel uncomfortable. As though a caterpillar is crawling under my skin. Then I want to push them away. Far far away.
After I push them away, I begin to feel lonely again. I don't want to be alone but I don't want anyone to be too close. I don't understand myself. I'm a walking contradiction. I want to be happy with everyone and I want to be loved. I say I trust everyone but underneath those words are lies. . .
Every time someone becomes too close I start to doubt them just a little. You are lying. In my mind, I start to question them. Was that the truth? Analyse them. Are you real? The closer someone is to my heart the more insecure I become. I'm lying. Somewhere, I already knew the answer. I'm scared. I don't want anyone to hate me. The closer someone is, the more they know about me. And I'm scared that they will hate me.
I'm ugly.
I want to make things that are ugly into something beautiful. And maybe one day someone will call me beautiful. One day...I'll actually believe them. Because maybe one day I can be beautiful.
Caption: My friends and I are tree monkeys ^^
I think I established earlier on somewhere that I am a walking contradiction.
I say that I trust everyone. I give them the benefit of the doubt. And to a certain extent I do trust everyone.
I am extremely comfortable talking about myself to complete strangers as I am doing so right this instant.
I always want to make close connections with people I come in contact with. I delight in making bonds and memories with everyone I meet.
However. . .
The second someone becomes too close I get agitated. Extremely agitated. And I don't know why.
The instant someone starts to know too much about me, I start to panic. I feel uncomfortable. As though a caterpillar is crawling under my skin. Then I want to push them away. Far far away.
After I push them away, I begin to feel lonely again. I don't want to be alone but I don't want anyone to be too close. I don't understand myself. I'm a walking contradiction. I want to be happy with everyone and I want to be loved. I say I trust everyone but underneath those words are lies. . .
Every time someone becomes too close I start to doubt them just a little. You are lying. In my mind, I start to question them. Was that the truth? Analyse them. Are you real? The closer someone is to my heart the more insecure I become. I'm lying. Somewhere, I already knew the answer. I'm scared. I don't want anyone to hate me. The closer someone is, the more they know about me. And I'm scared that they will hate me.
I'm ugly.
I want to make things that are ugly into something beautiful. And maybe one day someone will call me beautiful. One day...I'll actually believe them. Because maybe one day I can be beautiful.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Honestly Thrilled
I am incredibly thrilled !!!!!
Then again, it doesn't take much to please me.
In a span of a few days I recieved both my 2nd and 3rd blog award ^^
I didn't start the blog to get awards. Truthfully, I didn't even know about them but its nice to know that there are people out there that appreciates my writing and who can relate to me.
Then again, it doesn't take much to please me.
In a span of a few days I recieved both my 2nd and 3rd blog award ^^
I didn't start the blog to get awards. Truthfully, I didn't even know about them but its nice to know that there are people out there that appreciates my writing and who can relate to me.
Honest Scrap Award:
This is for "bloggers who put their heart on display as they write from the depths of their soul." You write 10 honest things about yourself that are not common knowledge and then you pass it on to 6 fellow bloggers that touch your heart by the honesty and sincerity they give with each post.
I am passing this award to ooohjodi at You don't Wan't To Read This. She constantly reveals to us her deepest thoughts and feelings. She reminds me of myself but I think she readily throws herself out into the open more. And I envy that.
So here are my ten things:
1. I have a list of fears: Creepy crawlies, dark (fear not knowing whats around me), loneliness, unwanted, pain, falling, swimming in ocean (feel nothingness), driving alone in the car at night (because of stupid Japanese Grudge film), horror movies/stories, unknown, death, rejection and thats all I can remember for now.
2.I'm a walking contradiction: I like having space but I like being surrounded by people. I like peace and quiet but I can't stand my own silence. I don't like people calling me "cute" but I don't like being called a boy. I am quite girly but 80% of my friends are boys. I prefer the company of men.
3. I have a GIANT sweet tooth: I absolutely love sweets. I especially love chocolate with my favourite being White chocolate.
4. I never told anyone this because I'm not even sure myself but once when my family was living in an apartment, I saw a ghost. I was only 4 or 5 but I was sleeping in my own room next door to my parents. I left my door open and I had trouble sleeping. I saw clearly a transparent being float across the hallway and into my parents bedroom. The next day, I woke to see if my parents were possessed and to my disappointment, they weren't.
5. I was born 2 months premature. I am short for my age. Everyone's first impression of me is that I'm a 12 to 14 year old girl. I try to always be serious because I fear that people would think I'm a child otherwise.
6. Once, I went through a phase where my answer for everything was "I don't know"
7. I was a serious cry baby and sometimes I still am. I stopped crying in front of people long ago. To my family, crying is weak. I don't want to be thought weak so I hide my tears.
8. I once was an annoying non-stopping chatter-box. . . Don't ask me how I changed.
9. I literally suck at all games: card games, video games, you name it and I suck at it. Sometimes, I don't even try a game because I already know I'll definitely lose.
10. I don't like people getting inside my head: I don't like people analysing me and think that they know what I'm thinking. Everyone is different. Don't catergorise me. How can you say you know me when I don't know myself? How can you say you know me when I am still trying to find myself?
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Understanding The Opposite Gender
For most of today, I was a boy. I talked and walked and wore clothes like a boy. To be exact, I attempted to. It was all because of my friends Nick and Greg (Lol there. I mentioned you guys). So basically it was sort of like a deal. The deal was: If I could last the whole day being a boy, I'll get lollies at the end.
I met my other friends Richard and Phil (Happy? I mentioned you guys too.lol.) for my history class and throughout the day I got people staring at me thinking: Why is she dressed like a guy? Any who, my friend Greg got me thinking. . .
Guys, they are so different to girls. I wonder what goes through a guy's head during the day? I bet guys think the same. So thats why, I spent 30mins thinking of a survey containing questions that both genders want to ask each other. I have already posted the survey on my FaceBook and the best replies will later be posted up. Any other meaningful answers from my lovesick fools will be added to the list. I am also planning to compare the most common answers from both genders up later. The results shall be interesting.
So here is the survey along with my answers.
a.What do you search for in a partner?
Someone who is honest enough to tell me when he is lying and why.
b.Is it appearance that initially attract you to a person?
Truthfully yes, appearance does initially attract me to a person but if he has a bad personality,
I am not going to stick around to find out anything else.
c.How often or have you ever thought of sex?
I would be lying if I say I've never even once thought about sex. I have thought about once or twice but not seriosuly enough to actually consider it.
d. Do you believe in true love?
Obviously yes. For me love is really important so base many aspects of life around the idea of true love.
If there is no true love, what else is out there?
e. How many relationships have you been in?
One so far. Yet to find a long stable relationship. Still searching.
f.What is your thought on commitment?
Commitment is essential for a long happy relationship. Though sometimes, I understand people fear commitment. Soemtimes, people are not ready then they have to ask themselves: Why?
g. How easy is it for you to say the words "I love you?"
Not easy at all. I absolutely have to believe he is the one to say those words. Though sometimes, we lie to ourselves about who we actually love. People who say "I love you" after dating a couple of days, I don't understand where the love comes from.
h.How long was your longest relationship so far?
Almost 5 months.
i.What would you consider to be the best anniversary present?
I am hindered by my own question. . . Truthfully, I really want sentimental things. Material goods are nice and all but they hold no meaning what so ever. Just being able to stay beside the one you love is good enough.
j. What made you fall in love with your partner or what would make you fall for a person?
Someone who is always there. Someone who understands me more than anyone else ever would.
k. If your love suddenly becomes disable would you still treat them the same?
If I don't treat them the same or fall out of love, could I seriosuly say that I was in love with them?
I don't believe so.
l. If your beloved changes personality, would you still love him/her
With this it depends on what type of change: Good or bad and how much change? If that person suddenly turns a 180, is he really the same person I fell in love with? Maybe, he isn't the one.
m. Would you love someone completely even with his/her flaws or try to change him/her?
With this, I sincerely believe that if you love someone you should accept him whole heartedly and completely. If not, what do you seriously love about them? His flaws are what makes him, him. If you try to change someone then maybe, you actually don't love them. It also depends on what the flaw is e.g. smoking.
n. If the most important person hurt you, would you still love him/her
If my most important person hurt me, would I still love him? Truthfully and stupidly yes. But also, there are limits to how much pain a person can handle. If he can't see that he is hurting you, than he probably doesn't deserve you. Then again, its not easy to fall out of love with someone unless you never really loved them to begin with.
o. Why do people date someone who is bad for them?
Ummm with this, I think either stupidity or excitment.
p. What is your opinion on cheating/love affairs?
That is not love. If you don't love someone, tell them and don't date/sleep with someone else. Its not fair on your partner.
q.Have you ever been in a one-sided love? How did you get over it?
Yes and still am but gradually moving on because when I love someone, it would be really nice if he loves me back. I think, the only thing that helps is time because dating other people would only result in more pain.
r. Were you ever in love with more than one person at the same time? Is that considered to be true love? How did you find the right answer?
To be exact, I wasn't in love with two people at the same time but more of the fact that I didn't realise that I loved someone else from the start. The right answer, is the person you love more or loved from the beginning.
s.Define: Love
Love is wanting to be with someone for Eternity but when it comes to that person's happiness, theirs is more important than yours because if they're happy, then you're happy.
Ok, since I answered truthfully, I expect you to asnwer truthfully as well. Patiently waiting for your replies ^^
I met my other friends Richard and Phil (Happy? I mentioned you guys too.lol.) for my history class and throughout the day I got people staring at me thinking: Why is she dressed like a guy? Any who, my friend Greg got me thinking. . .
Guys, they are so different to girls. I wonder what goes through a guy's head during the day? I bet guys think the same. So thats why, I spent 30mins thinking of a survey containing questions that both genders want to ask each other. I have already posted the survey on my FaceBook and the best replies will later be posted up. Any other meaningful answers from my lovesick fools will be added to the list. I am also planning to compare the most common answers from both genders up later. The results shall be interesting.
So here is the survey along with my answers.
a.What do you search for in a partner?
Someone who is honest enough to tell me when he is lying and why.
b.Is it appearance that initially attract you to a person?
Truthfully yes, appearance does initially attract me to a person but if he has a bad personality,
I am not going to stick around to find out anything else.
c.How often or have you ever thought of sex?
I would be lying if I say I've never even once thought about sex. I have thought about once or twice but not seriosuly enough to actually consider it.
d. Do you believe in true love?
Obviously yes. For me love is really important so base many aspects of life around the idea of true love.
If there is no true love, what else is out there?
e. How many relationships have you been in?
One so far. Yet to find a long stable relationship. Still searching.
f.What is your thought on commitment?
Commitment is essential for a long happy relationship. Though sometimes, I understand people fear commitment. Soemtimes, people are not ready then they have to ask themselves: Why?
g. How easy is it for you to say the words "I love you?"
Not easy at all. I absolutely have to believe he is the one to say those words. Though sometimes, we lie to ourselves about who we actually love. People who say "I love you" after dating a couple of days, I don't understand where the love comes from.
h.How long was your longest relationship so far?
Almost 5 months.
i.What would you consider to be the best anniversary present?
I am hindered by my own question. . . Truthfully, I really want sentimental things. Material goods are nice and all but they hold no meaning what so ever. Just being able to stay beside the one you love is good enough.
j. What made you fall in love with your partner or what would make you fall for a person?
Someone who is always there. Someone who understands me more than anyone else ever would.
k. If your love suddenly becomes disable would you still treat them the same?
If I don't treat them the same or fall out of love, could I seriosuly say that I was in love with them?
I don't believe so.
l. If your beloved changes personality, would you still love him/her
With this it depends on what type of change: Good or bad and how much change? If that person suddenly turns a 180, is he really the same person I fell in love with? Maybe, he isn't the one.
m. Would you love someone completely even with his/her flaws or try to change him/her?
With this, I sincerely believe that if you love someone you should accept him whole heartedly and completely. If not, what do you seriously love about them? His flaws are what makes him, him. If you try to change someone then maybe, you actually don't love them. It also depends on what the flaw is e.g. smoking.
n. If the most important person hurt you, would you still love him/her
If my most important person hurt me, would I still love him? Truthfully and stupidly yes. But also, there are limits to how much pain a person can handle. If he can't see that he is hurting you, than he probably doesn't deserve you. Then again, its not easy to fall out of love with someone unless you never really loved them to begin with.
o. Why do people date someone who is bad for them?
Ummm with this, I think either stupidity or excitment.
p. What is your opinion on cheating/love affairs?
That is not love. If you don't love someone, tell them and don't date/sleep with someone else. Its not fair on your partner.
q.Have you ever been in a one-sided love? How did you get over it?
Yes and still am but gradually moving on because when I love someone, it would be really nice if he loves me back. I think, the only thing that helps is time because dating other people would only result in more pain.
r. Were you ever in love with more than one person at the same time? Is that considered to be true love? How did you find the right answer?
To be exact, I wasn't in love with two people at the same time but more of the fact that I didn't realise that I loved someone else from the start. The right answer, is the person you love more or loved from the beginning.
s.Define: Love
Love is wanting to be with someone for Eternity but when it comes to that person's happiness, theirs is more important than yours because if they're happy, then you're happy.
Ok, since I answered truthfully, I expect you to asnwer truthfully as well. Patiently waiting for your replies ^^
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