Labels

365 (32) A to Z April (20) Adrian (10) Anger (12) Australia (6) bad luck (15) blog (21) celebrations (6) chance (11) change (45) christmas (2) Dear Unknowing (6) Distant star (4) drabble (2) dreams (42) Emma (11) eternity (8) family (29) fate (10) fears (38) friends (51) guest post (3) guitar (9) happy (39) holidays (12) hurt (48) inovations (1) inspiration (5) internet (1) kill me now (2) life (148) Lit blog (1) loneliness (28) love (182) lyrics (3) Mondays (4) new year (5) ominous (17) ominousok (1) Peter Pan (1) Poetry (15) Prince Charming (3) promises (12) quotes (5) rain (5) random (16) recklessness (7) regret (7) remembrance (7) Romeo (1) sacrifice (5) silent (22) Spoken (2) Stranger (9) summer (4) truth (16) uncertainty (13) university (16) unrequited love (43) vlog (3) Winter (5) wish (30) writing (35)

Monday, February 15, 2010

Truthfully. . .(Confessions)

I think that I may love the idea of being in love more than the actual act.
I think that maybe. . .Maybe, I don't really know what love is.
I think that sometimes, I think too much.

Sometimes, I know myself too well but sometimes I don't understand at all.
Sometimes, I hate understanding myself because there is nothing I can do.

I'm scared that if I'm not remembered its as though I never existed.
I'm scared that if I don't feel love, I will become nothing.
I'm scared that my feelings will become nothing but memory.
I'm scared that nothing will matter at all.

Truthfully, I am not as good as people think I am.
I sometimes have bad or impure thoughts too.
I sometimes swear but mostly in my head.
Truthfully, I find it a burden to live up to people's expectations.
I'm not an angel so why must I act like one?
I'm not stone, I can be angered.
I sometimes want to punch people too.
Truthfully, I just want to be me.
But I'm scared that people won't accept me.
Truthfully, I'm uncomfortable with myself.
So I try to always have my mind occupied.
Because, I don't want to think. . .
Truthfully, I think that's why I like being in love,
in order to think about someone else than myself.
Truthfully, I want to be free

Truthfully, I don't want to be me.

6 comments:

Cheryl said...

Maybe if you tried swearing out loud.
I do it all the time.
Makes me a better person.

Vencora said...

ditto

(when i say ditto, i mean i've thought a lot of the same things, except for the part about not swearing outloud and seeming like a nice person. no-one makes that mistake with me after hearing my language, lol.)

Nova said...

I can relate completely to every single one except "I'm not an angel so why must I act like one?". I've given up even trying to act one.

Lovesick Fool said...

@Cheryl: But thats just it; When I do swear out loud, people make a huge fuss about it. What am I, a nun?

@Vencora: I'm generally a nice person but it seems that people confuse me to a saint.

@Nova: I'm tired of expectations but I get upste with myself if I can't live up to them too. Am I strange?

katieleigh said...

I know it's hard, I mean, I can't even do it...but sometimes we are own own worst critic. It's best if you just lay in bed at night and put every negative thought on a floating leaf, then watch it float down stream. That way it can't bring you down. Negative thoughts offer nothing positive, try to fight them.

I sound like a weirdo lol

Lovesick Fool said...

@Katieleigh: Thank you. I'll try it

Related Posts with Thumbnails