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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Before Unknowing. . . .

There was a boy. . .
I had known him since primary school (elementary) and up until the end of last year, I attended high school with him. During primary school I was never interested in him even though we had 5th grade together. However, he was not invisible to me. He could never be invisible because during primary school, he was the subject of almost every girl's attention. He was Mr Popular. I was probably one of the few girls that didn't fawn over him.

Then, in year 8 he started catching the same bus home as I did. Even though his old bus stopped closer to his house. He told me that he voted for me to get into the student council. He started talking to me. He sat next to me on the bus several times. I started noticing him more. Soon, all I could see was his smile. I had fallen for Mr Popular. The one guy I said I would never fall for. I wanted to be different but even I couldn't resist his charm.

I never once allowed myself to think for more than a second that he liked me. I was never a really confident person. I thought that I was too aware of him. That I was being over conscious. He was always there. Sometimes, when my class had P.E. I could see his class on the opposite end. Sometimes, he would run over and give me one of his sweet smiles: Hey. I always replied back happily. Sometimes, he would hide behind me and use me as a shield. His large hands on my shoulders. Sometimes, I can still feel his warmth. I remembered the first time I gave him a Christmas card. His shocked expression. His smile when reading. I remember my red face afterwards. Even though, I was happy with him, I never thought he would like me. I thought: Someone like him would not like someone like me. After a year and a half I gave up.

I was wrong.
Yesterday, I was on Facebook. I was bored and so I toyed with one of those applications where you can find out what people thought of you after unlocking with points: BFF. So I found one where someone had answered yes to: Have you ever had a crush on ****? I was really curious so I unlocked it. To my utter surprise and shock it was none other than Mr Popular....

I was really happy. It made my heart beat furiously knowing that at one point in time someone shared mutual feelings with me. It was a real confidence booster. Though, it also created regrets. If I had gathered more courage. If I had a stronger will. . .What would have happened? Would he and I be together now? Would I be happy? These questions will probably haunt me for a long time. But I'm happy to know at least that he had liked me. Even if it was long ago. Even though I missed my chance.

So the moral of the story is folks: ACT ON YOUR FEELINGS !!!!! DON'T HESITATE

Because opportunities are rare. When they come, don't hesitate or you'll be left wondering of the what ifs and the things that could have been.

Hesitate and you'll regret. Wait and chances are lost.


2 comments:

Vencora said...

such an exciting thing to find out! and a good message you've given us, too. it's easy to think it, but so hard to do. ^_^

Lovesick Fool said...

@Vencora: Yes, its definitely hard to do so but that makes it even more worth while later on.

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