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Thursday, May 20, 2010

I was wrong. . .

Everything I've worked so hard for came undone in an instant. A mere second. Everything came undone, the instant I saw you. Everything. Everything came washing back. It was as though there was not a single day where I didn't think of you. It was as if I never forgot you, not even for a second.

Why?

My heart has not felt such strong emotions in a long time. It feels so heavy. I don't want to feel this and at the same time, I miss it. I missed my precious feelings. But I worked so hard to make myself feel nothing. I worked so hard to get over you. To feel nothing when it came to you. I wrote poems, stories, love letters, I tried to ignore my feelings and  I tried to love someone else. I even confessed to you. And for a while, I was alright.

I thought I was through
I thought I was fine
But when I saw you
I was realised I was wrong
I still loved you.

There is no other way to say this: I want to cry.
How many times do I have to fall for you before I can be free? How many times must I repeat this cycle before I can fly away?

What must I do to stop this beating heart? What must I do to become immune to you? What must I do for you to no longer affect me? No one else has made me feel this way. No one else has filled me up with such strong emotions.What's really stupid is that you don't even try.

What must I do to stop loving you?

2 comments:

Vencora said...

i wish i knew what to tell you when stuff like this happens. i wish i knew what to tell myself. sometimes i swear i hate love, but i've never said it wholeheartedly.

Lovesick Fool said...

@Vencora: I always say I give up on love after every heart break but secretly I'm still searching too. Thank you.

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