If that was a joke, I'm not laughing

I feel like such an idiot.
So much time wasted but resulting to nothing.
I must have looked so pathetic
Waiting there in the almost rain
But no one came with a smile on his face.
Desperate for appreciation, I fell for pretty words
But words alone are not enough.
I wanted it to be real
I so wanted this to be reality
He says he couldn't make it
And wanted another chance to see my words
But is that a chance deserved?
I'm so tired of disappointment.
You raised my hopes and watched it fall
You let it fall and watched it bleed into the rain.
If that was a joke
I missed the punch line