Every time I clean my room, I stumble upon that shoe box that holds memories of last year. I always say that I'm going to throw it out but I can't ever bring myself in doing so. Instead, I merely hide it in another corner of my room until I dig it out under the layer of dust in a few months time.
I don't love him.
I know that much. But how do I explain it? He was someone that was important to me in that brief time spent together. He made me happy. Even though those smiles were laced with tears; he did make me happy. Even now when we walk pass each other on the streets, we pretend that last year never happened but in my eyes I can still picture him in my room. Because of those sweet memories, I can't bear to chuck the box away like trash. But I can't stand looking at it's contents either.
We are strangers now.
I was the one who decided that he wasn't The One.
And he was the one who decided that I was a Bitch.
Those love notes piled in the shoe box are meaningless now.
So why can't I bring myself to throw them out?
6 comments:
Well from my experience, ( and I know you probably know this already ) it's very hard to forget someone who touched you heart. Honestly, I think it's impossible. They are a memory that will always be part of you, because they became part of you in the past.
I agree with xxLover, we carry our memories with us forever. Although, with time, they become fuzzy, and the frequency with which you examine the contents of this box will decrease as the months/years pass. Soon, you will make new memories with someone else, and before you know it, this box will be the last thing on your mind, because you'll have a collection of keepsakes to remind you of said new person. :)
Oh this speaks to me in so many ways. Except mine isn't a shoe box. It's an email file. I labeled it 'him' so I don't even have to see his name. But I know its there and I can't get rid of it.
.... your blog is like the inside of my head sometimes.
I can relate. Oh I really do!
I never had a shoe box but I'd flowers, gifts, cards, letters and tons of pics.
But here's the difference: He was the one who decided I wasn't the one, and I am the one calling him jerk.
I threw everything away including the pics and deleted the ones on my PC but I can't get myself to delete a folder I have on my email labeled as Babe. I like thinking he will come back before I am over him and when we are old together I will have those pictures, those memories of us.
@xxlover: Thank you^^
@Philosophia: Thank you. I'll keep the box.
@Eva: Your blog is also like the inside of my mind sometimes!!
@Ana: I never thought for a second that he and I will go back together.
Post a Comment