I already knew this but again I've come to face the truth more then ever. My connection with you is indeed restricted to that one place. Outside of there I don't ever really see you. I can't. Both our conscience stops us from seeing each other. Because its wrong. You said it yourself. Things will get out of control and we would end up doing things we will regret. Why? Why does it even have to lead to that? Why can't things ever be simple with you? Why don't you speak to me?
Is it because you think with your cock instead with your heart?
That's what I hate about men. And yet why can't I bear not seeing you? I hate how irrational I am. My mother told me not to fall for someone who won't return my feelings because I'll only be in pain. And yet. My heart doesn't listen. Time and time again. Love goes out my control.
I shouldn't be angry with you when all this time you've been gentle with me. It's just so frustrating. Playing this game of pretend. All I ever do is lie. But this lie keeps us both happy. Even if only on surface, I want to be able to keep smiling together with you. But. How long will this kind of fragile friendship last before everything is just too much for either you or I to handle?
Everything would be so much simpler if I didn't have any feelings for you.
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