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Sunday, June 5, 2011

My brother

I'm worried about my younger brother.

Out of everyone in the family, he always goes to me for advice. Tonight, he told me something that made feel like crying. He wanted the world to end. Not because he's a sadist. But because if the world were to end, he would also die. He wouldn't have to live and continue to question his purpose, his meaning of life.

He told me that he finds everything boring. Mundane.
Even his hobbies. Things that I thought he loved dearly. But the only reason he does martial arts until his whole body is sore or strums on his guitar everynight or is attached to the computer screeen so much is because these activities gives him something to do. It passes time.

As his older sister, it worries me that my yet to be 16 year old brother is already tired of life. I don't know what advice to give him. What words will take away the numbness that he feels. If there is something that I can do, I would do everything possible to make life more enjoyable for him. So I don't want to ever hear such sad words from him again.


6 comments:

Barry said...

The teens and twenties are a time of self-discovery, finding out who we are and where we fit in. At fifteen it appears your brother is a very introspective person who is feeling lost right now.

What he has told you are, I feel, classic signs of depression. I'd simply chalk it up to boredom but he does have passions and interests, he just seems to have lost a true interest in pursuing them.

To be honest Lucy what your brother is going through right now is bigger than you. I don't say this to take away from you in any way, please don't misunderstand me. You're obviously a very loving sister and you want to do anything you can to help him.

It sounds like he's more likely to confide in you than, say, your parents. Being closer in age he probably feels you'll understand better. What he needs right now is support. Unfortunately there's no one thing you can say that will take away what he's feeling. Just be there for him. Let him know you're always available and he can tell you anything, that you'll listen.

Your parents really should be made aware of this if they're not already. Hopefully he'll go to them on his own, if he refuses then offer to be by his side when he talks to them. He probably won't want them to know but he's spoken about dying and this should be taken seriously. Most kids consider suicide at some point and relatively few follow through. But this needs to be addressed before it spirals.

I STRONGLY suggest that he speaks with a counsellor or guidance teacher at school. He may feel alone in what he's going through but depression is very, very common in society (trust me, you wouldn't believe how many people who have told me they're depressed). Professionals are trained to handle such things. And if you're feeling a bit overwhelmed by this, speaking confidentially with a guidance teacher will help give you some direction I'm sure.

I don't want to worry you with all this. It's not an extreme situation yet but it could become one if it isn't dealt with head-on. You guys aren't alone, there are a lot of people who can help.

What I've suggested here is from experience, I'm not a professional. But if you feel you want to talk about this, e-mail me at barrysquotations@gmail.com anytime. It's been quite a while since we talked hasn't it? I'll make getting back to you a priority.

One Woman's Thoughts said...

You and your brother have a good relationship for him to share these feelings with you. I'm sure it wasn't easy for him or you.

He is not alone in his feelings. this. He doesn't have to feel this way. Please don't take on this all by yourself. You are not alone either. There is help available. He talks to you because he respects you, feels comfortable and non threatened by you. Talk to your parents or an adult that you feel comfortable with. Ask your brother to to share if he can. Ask a teacher, a minister, a doctor or anyone that you think might be able to help you. Encourage him to get help, and reinforce that you are with him. Sharing his feelings with you was his first step and a big one. There are teen crisis hotlines available. They have 24 hour a day phone availability. Look for help for yourself and for him.

Lovesick Fool said...

Thank you both.
I've already told my mother so for now we'll be watching him. But I will talk to a proffessional soon for further advice.

Barry said...

The person who commented after me is right, there are also crisis lines you can both call anonymously if you need to talk.

I'm glad to hear you're taking steps. You and your brother are in my thoughts. :)

Wine and Words said...

I don't know your brother, but he is not alone in these feelings. They are not necessarily suicidal, but full of want. He just hasn't found the things that make him whole, make him feel charged and alive. There are many of us. We write, we sing, we paint. We seek. Encourage him to keep trying new things...to keep searching. With a sister like you, I'm sure he will find his way :)

concrete grinding said...

he's not alone with that situation.. you just need to guide him .. and assure you're brother that you're always in his side ..

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