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Thursday, February 18, 2010

Bad Habits

I know that I said in Last Letter that I would no longer dedicate posts to My Unknowing Guitarist but this post is a special case, because right now I am having difficulties in writing stories. Now that I have given up on him, I have also given up on all those feelings that fuel my writing. Always, he was my inspiration. Why is it that I feel so numb? My heart feels hollow. . .


Afternoons, I walk to the bust stop like clockwork. I time myself to be there between 3.30 and 4pm.
I pry my eyes between business men and senior citizens. He isn't there. But my heart doesn't drop like it used to. My chest is hollow. Its only out of habit.

My mouse clicks on Youtube and I always listen to his songs. His songs that always haunts me.Why? His songs that can only calm me. My fingers still strum his melodies. The intricate notes. But my heart no longer yearns for a duet. I don't feel anything. I have become numb. Its merely a bad habit.


Vencora said...

i don't really have anything to add. i just wanted to let you know that while i was reading this i was nodding in understanding, a little bit of "i am familiar with that feeling."

Lovesick Fool said...

Do you know why I feel hollow then?

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