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Thursday, March 4, 2010

Lovesick Fool's expectations

My best friend, he had told me once that maybe the reason as to why I'm alone is the fact my expectations are too high. I agree with him, somewhat but to me my high expectations are like a wall, a fort of protection. Hiding me away from those who may harm me. I also think that, by knowing what I want, I would be happier in life. Know thyself is therefore knowing life.

Sometimes though, I am lonely and I wonder if I should lower the bar a little so that I merely won't have to bask in my own company. Just a little sunlight in order to grow. I did that last year and I still regretted it. I opened the gates to someone who was so different to what I was looking for because I was lonely. I thought then that I was happy and that maybe this was it. I being very naive was wrong. He was my first boyfriend and my first mistake. I was happy with his company but later on I realised that my happiness was very shallow. I hate to admit this because I only realised much much later that . . .my first boyfriend was a distraction to my loneliness from a painful unrequainted love towards a guitarist who may never think of me the way I think of him.

It is quite sad that whenever I think of my ideal man or perfect lover, my thoughts fall upon the guitarist. Now that isn't so because I love him but it is more of that he ticked off everything on my list. Soemtimes, I believe the reason I can't let go of my hold of him is because of the very reason that he fit the image of my ideal man. He is someone. I may never encounter again. But then when I think about it. My ideal man would be more ideal if he was actually in love with me.

Lovesick Fool's expectations
  1. Good morals
  2. Muscian preferably classical guitarist
  3. Determined
  4. hard worker
  5. good sense of humour
  6. Buddhist
  7. Vietnamese
  8. intelligent enough to hold a good conversation
  9. martial artist
  10. Has goals in life
  11. Independent
  12. Respects others no matter who
  13. Warm voice
  14. Gentleman
  15. Loves books as much as I do
  16. Honest and truthful
  17. Loyal to friends and family
  18. Likes children
  19. Good patience
  20.  Strong willed
  21. Good heart/understanding of others
  22. Listens
  23. Likes to help others
  24. Nice smile
  25. Loves me completely and loves me because of my flaws
Generally, if my heart says so it's usually right. So follow heart's instincts. Those who are meant to be will eventually will be. But I would like to find someone who I love so much that maybe these expectations will crumble away for.

What about you? What are your expectations in men or women? Does your lover fit your list? And does it really matter? Voice your thoughts.


Vencora said...

"But then when I think about it. My ideal man would be more ideal if he was actually in love with me." - I've been having similar thoughts lately.

Also, I love the closing line.

ooohjodi said...

god i have the same problem.

katieleigh said...

I have a few requirements in a lover.

I need him to be mysterious, (almost) a loner, secluded but confident, intelligent, driven, motivated, successful, dominating, kind, spontaneous, thoughtful, good with money, loyal, likes to listen, likes to argue, chivalrous, daring.

<3 I will meet him... one day

I hope you meet yours too

katieleigh said...

Oh and I forgot a very important one. He needs to be a better speller than me (which probably isn't hard.. but it's a must!)

Lovesick Fool said...

@Vencora: Thank you. Those thoughts run through me everyday.
@oohjodi: I'm sure many people have the same problem and its sad that they do.
@katieleigh:Your requirements are quite interesting. Never heard of those before but that is obviously of course because he is ideal to only you^^

Nova said...

Hm, I've never thought about my expectations or requirements. I'm going to think on this and write a post on it soon. I do know one thing. He has to have arms that make me feel safe. If it doesn't feel right when he holds me, I'll never fall in love.

Sam Liu said...

Hi, I gave you a blog award. To view it, go here:

Lovesick Fool said...

@Sam Liu: Ohhhhh mmmmyyy GOD !!!!
HE HE HE HE THANK YOU !!!!!!! ^^

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Ary Vee said...

Expectations can be a crutch that ends up harming us more than helping. I had expectations, and I found the perfect guy, but people have more than just what you want. And what they carry may supersede what we want in their personality. I had found a person with my kind of morals, interests, and aspirations, but his past is something that no one could have changed in any way. A person is more than qualities. A person is a world in itself. Sure we are attracted to our "type", but there is no such thing as a perfect person. We have to commit to the person who we love for who and what they are whilst they love us in the same way.

Lovesick Fool said...

@Ary: What you say is quite true but I have these expectations as guidlines so I don't stray and they are also my protection.

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