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Thursday, May 27, 2010

To the Boy with the Unknowing Cruelty

 Dear Unknowing,

 I don't understand you. You confuse me. You ignore me for months on end. Then while my heart desperately heals itself, building as much immunity and walls as possible, one day you suddenly come and knock them down. What is most frustrating is that you didn't even try. Do you even realise your actions?

 I thought I could protect my heart. I thought if time passes, eventually you'll be nothing but happy memories. You'll be the past. However, it seems whenever I've just become content. Whenever, I am about to forget you, suddenly you appear in my life again. Why can't you leave me alone? Why must you always torment me?

Why did you decide to talk to me yesterday? When everyday is the same. No other day is different. Yet what made yesterday different? I wished that you would just leave me be. So that I could move on with my life and find happiness on my own. I was content on never seeing you again. I was content on forgetting you but you're like a never fading scar. You always remind me that you're alive. I cannot forget your existence. 

I wish we never met again.

Please stop giving me hope, only to disappoint me every time. I stopped expecting anything from you. Because with expectations comes disappointment. But sometimes, you catch me off guard and I can't expect that. You are cruel. Please leave me alone.

Dear Heart,
Please stop getting your hopes up then plummeting into millions of pieces. It hurts. It hurts a lot. And I wish that it didn't hurt because it means I still care.


ooohjodi said...

every time i read your blog, i envy how big of a heart you have. its beautiful and i'm jealous. i wish i could be like you... lovesick.

Lovesick Fool said...

@oohjodi: Sometimes, I envy you because sometimes being lovesick is really painful. But thank you, love is indeed beautiful.

ooohjodi said...

i would trade my emptiness for your pain any day. emotions build character and make a person love-able while those like me are just cold.

Lovesick Fool said...

I don't think you're cold.
I think the emptiness you feel is part of the building your character.
All these experiences will make you a well-rounded person in the future.

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