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Wednesday, June 9, 2010


The days flutter by rapidly as though hinting that there's no time to think of you.
And I don't know if that is beneficial or not. I don't know if I want to let you go.
All I know is that my heart is becoming comfortably numb.

The days blur as watching houses speed by the bus window.
Everything feels like its on the outside and I'm stuck behind cold glass.
I'm frozen at a state that's unchangeable. An Eternal Snow. Never melting.
I don't know how to find warmth while my fingers bleed metallic ice. It doesn't hurt.
Nothing seems to make sense. Everything just flows like fruit in a blender.
Everything is blending and I don't know how to escape.
Sometimes, I think I'm ok then I just collapse in tears.
When there shouldn't be anything painful. So that's what I tell myself, every night.
Can you tell that somewhere I'm lying?

The days seem to crawl by so cruelly. Nothing seemed to have changed yet everything has. There are whispers, little reminders of you everywhere I go. I can't seem to let go. Once, someone said that I don't love you. I cried. I cried so hard that it hurt. If what I feel isn't Love then does it deny all my memories? Does it deny your existence? I don't want to ever think that you were only an illusion when you were so real. Please don't say that you were only in my head. Don't deny these precious emotions of mine. Some days, I find myself seeing you at our bus stop when its merely someone else. I long to see your smile even though you may never look at me again. I know, that thinking like this does not help. But its so hard when my heart longs so much.

The days are cruel numbers accumulating, counting the time we're apart.
I'm the only one counting the stars that reach beyond my grasps.
Don't you feel any loss? Are there no holes in your chest where I'm supposed to be? Sometimes, words just keep flowing like the days. They tangle like my clumsy thoughts and end up making no sense on paper. Why is when it comes to you that I'm left clueless? I don't make sense. All I know is that I loathe waiting the most. Whenever I see happy couples, my heart becomes a crumbling rose. I know I have all my life. But I hate waiting. The days are too slow and lonely. The days are separating my feelings for you. Where does the string at the end of my finger lead to? Why can't it be you? Words and days no longer make sense, there's only three clear words in my head.
I miss you.

PS: I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense.

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