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Sunday, June 27, 2010

Promises are simply beautiful empty words

Sir Knight is a boy I had known for many years. He and I always managed to be in at least one class together every year throughout high school. He is given this name because of a recent conversation I had with him. He was the one that inspired my newest poem "I love you". Even though I've known him for so long, we were never that close but remained merely as good classmates.

But lately, he's someone I've been going to whenever I needed someone to listen. Instead of calling him a boy, he should be a man. Because he knows which words would strike my heart and comfort me. He like other men uses pretty words to seduce hearts. So I need to be careful and not fall for him. He is a good friend but I don't want him as a lover.

He says I can come to him whenever I need a shoulder to cry on and he would hold me and let me cry as much as I want without any questions asked and without judging. He uses such sweet words that it made my heart moved. Sir Knight gave me his number and said because I have difficulty sleeping, he would talk to me until I fall sleep. I was really happy when he said that. I thought that maybe I could depend on him. Maybe.
But then, on the night that I was crying and hating myself so much; he wasn't there. That night, he was out. Then I remembered that he already has a girlfriend. He in reality is not someone that would be sitting by the phone on a Friday night waiting for my call. He already has a princess. And I remind myself everyday that I don't love him. I'm just lonely.

Men tend to make me promises that they cannot keep. Why taint beautiful words with such lies? There wouldn't be disappointment if no expectations were made. Don't say: I'll always be there for you, if you will someday day walk away. Don't say: I'll take you out next holidays, but in the end I was left staring out the window every day. Don't say: I'll be your knight in shining armour, when you already have a princess.

Though I guess I'm the fool for believing men's words. Promises in the end are simply beautiful empty words.
But still I wish that promises are kept and that princes are real. I wish that I'm some body's princess.


Eva said...

I can relate to this more than you know. Someone promised me recently that he would be there forever and then he left. I'm starting to think the only promises that can be kept are the ones we make to ourselves.

Lovesick Fool said...

@Eva: I'm starting to think the same.

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