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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Are you happy?

Sometimes, I wish that I'm the one that stands besides you only.
But when I think about how lucky I am to be part of your life,
I can't help but smile.
Maybe, this is more than enough.

Sometimes or rather most of the time, I'm annoyed with you.
I hate you for being my first because I deserved better.
More than anything, I despise myself for being weak
But I can't help but fear for the future.

Sometimes, I wonder at my progress.
One step forward, three steps back. Am I going anywhere at all?
Memories shackle me to a never ending cycle.
And I question whether I actually want to escape at all.

Sometimes, I wonder if just anyone will do?
Just as long as they fill in the holes inside my heart.
But I know, that is not actually true
Because, I've been there, done that. And it doesn't help.

Sometimes, I wonder if you're happy
I repeat that question in my head every day
Maybe, one day there will be an answer.
But the main question is....
Am I?


scattered-strings said...

I may be happy but I will be one day when I become someone's "my-only-one".

These good memories can also become nightmares because of the darkness in our hearts but let us go on our pursuit of happiness <3

Lovesick Fool said...

@Scattered-strings: Yes, good memories can become tainted but also motivates us to find happiness.

katieleigh said...

I think it's hard if you're asking yourself if you're happy.

The boy I first loved was horrible to me too and weak and sometimes I wonder if he's happy knowing he pushed me out of his life and let me go.

At the end of the day though, this is your life and whether or not he or anyone else is sharing it with you - you are in control of your happiness.

Be true to yourself, do the things you love. You're a beautiful girl, I can tell.


scattered-strings said...

And we better damn well find the most euphoric happiness D:

Lovesick Fool said...

@Katieleigh: Thank you. You're a beautiful girl too. I hope you're happy now.^^

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