Promise to self

I promised myself back then that I'll no longer wait for anyone.
Because a man that makes me wait is not worth it.
If he wants me, he should find me himself.
And I hate how easily I fall
For simple words and gestures
That could mean anything at all
And nothing.
I said that I won't become attached but
In reality you had me at "Hello"
Why do I hold promises so close to my heart?
When they're simply empty words.
It's the always the little things that gets me.
The little things like:
Remembering the names of my favourite authors
When I thought they didn't really matter to you.
You said you liked muso girls best
And willingly offered to teach me the guitar
One day you'll play me a song, you promised.
What am I supposed to believe?
From a boy who leaves me waiting.
A boy who likes to play phantom and apologises
Only to leave me waiting on an empty computer screen.
I hate how I thought I had a chance at this game
of Cat and Mouse
But being the only cat is very lonely.
And I hate that I care more than I let on.
When I shouldn't care at all.
Don't make me wait for your non-replies.
When I promised that I'll no longer wait.
And I'm keeping that promise at all costs.
Because I deserve more.