When I opened the box, a bear smiled at me with words of love. "I love you" is now meaningless.
My ex-boyfriend now hates me. I don't actually blame him but I never lied to him about my feelings. When I was with him, he made me happy. I never lied to him when I said "I love you". I was lying to myself. I truely believed that I was happy but deep down inside a part locked from my heart was the truth: I was lonely. I wanted to be loved by someone. Anyone.
He was always there for me but there were times where I knew that beneath his smiles were lies. Lies because he wasn't who I wanted. Lies about his personality. There were times, where he hurt me so much for reasons I couldn't understand. The relationship was messed up; I knew it but I couldn't let go. I couldn't say: Let's break up. I didn't want to be alone even if it meant I was living a lie. Even if happiness was merely a mask tied really tightly. However eventually, I realised that things could no longer drag on like this. I had to let go and because truthfully my heart was still unconditionally filled with music strummed by someone else.
I'm sorry was what I said when we broke up. I thought he had undestood me but apparently spending almost 5 months with me was not enough for him to understand the type of person I am. Truelly, I was sorry but he became angry and said words more hurtful than mine. It's ok, I think because I learnt something from this. It's ok because I don't need someone who doesn't understand.
The Treasure box, I no longer will keep it. I'm a little sad to let go of memories but I don't need something to remind me of someone who doesn't understand me enough to know that I wouldn't lie about love.
When I say "I love you" that means I want Eternity.
PS: OMG I absolutely adore the new Blogger designs. so easy for someone who can't do the HTML codes thing.